The fear of him not stayin wrestled with me day in, and day out, and i wantd him to return home faster than what God’s timing what traveling to bring him back to me whole, changed, and free from sin.
I thought I was completely out of God’s way where my marriage is concerened, but I was not completely stopping the things that i was doing to pacify my husband.
When deperation gets real!!!!
After the leaving me for the second time in our marriage of six years my husband decided that he did not want to have the label of marriage hanging over his head, because he wanted the freedom of sleeping with as many women as he possibly could without being attached me me in the marital status that we are in.
Back in July he let me know this information, and i was so devestated to the point where whatever he complaned about that i was not doing i amplified it to a degree where I was making improvement of my outter appearance, and I was spending money that we at the time did not have I started working crazy hours to make sure that I was keeping myself busy, and making sure that i was paying his car note, and his cell phone bill because he deliberately let his job go, and he literally paid the rent for the last time back in August, and told me that he was done. rewind to the month of October his car was going into kreposession mode because of him not paying his car not.
Now mind you he is no longer in the home, and i am fully aware that he is out there having an affair with other women, and he is still coming in, and out of the home sleeping with me whenever he desired to. i fell apart each time after he left because he begin to treat me like i was so side chick. I would get dressed up for him, and he would enjoy the thrill, and just leave without no emotional attachment to me, and it left me feel unnerved about why i am holding on to a man that is showing no signs of life into our union of marriage. i felt betrayed, deceived, and unloved by my husband.
Recenly I called to check on him because it had been a few days since I had heard from him, and the attitude, and deminer that he spoke to me in made me feel so low, and I just begin to cry, and how foolish I felt of what I did to keep him around when I knew God was telling me to stop enabling my husband of the things that he was trying to take away from him.
The coversation went all the way left field when my husband begin to stay that i ddi very little for him, and i was like what? The things that I did were from the kindness of my heart, and this is when i totally backed out of God’s way to allow Him to work things out in my marriage. I had to totally remove myself, and stand while trusting God to reconcile my marriage back to Him.
Standing In The Wait
The purpose of my stance is changing day by day, and although it is not all the way easy at times because i want my husband home now I know the enternal importance of why i need to wait on God, and stay out of His way.
I had to realize that standing in God’s way defeats Him from moving on the behalf of my marriage, and I have to allow my stance in standing to grow daily no matter how tough the fight get in the natural, and battling in the spiritual realm.
Here are some scripture that God has given me to stand on concerning my faith
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5:2 King
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.
Remain humble through it all
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Serving in grace
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
2 Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.
Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a Woman unapologetically as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken life with God’s help by sharing my life #UnMended while Baring the deepest parts of myself has been very hard, but is so worth it in the end to see the woman I’ll become. So Cheers to healing, and to celebrating my freedon as a woman, in love, in life, and in faith. May you also grow from what I’ve grown from. Xo Jereè