Breaking The Cycle Of Abuse And Codependency
Sometimes I do not know where I am headed, and at this point in my life i feel like I am in a drifting season. Jereè – Founder Of Mend The Vow
There is nothing more saddening then being in a tormented relationship while trying to put pieces of a puzzle that is not fitted in your purpose. I know this story all to well from a child I grew up watching my father abuse my mother. I never seen but only one time in my childhood that my father was somewhat loving towards my mother. The dysfunction becamee the norm, and it was not a good thing to see, and it somehow carried on like this forr yeears.
When i was a child I swore to myself that I would never end up in a bad relationship like my mother, and father, but little did I know this trait of generation curses would follow me, and hunt me to my core.
The first real Adult relationship i got invloved in I was around 20 years old, and I did not know the characteristics of his personality in the beginning of our relation to know him a person I just went off of what he showed me, and this was the worst mistake that I would have ever made in that relationship. the first love crime was when I was pregnant with our child, and at 12 weeks I had to go under go surgery to remove our child because baby lovely was growing outside of the tube which is called an ectopic pregnancy.
While I was in surgey fighting for my life my than boyfriend was laying up with the mother of his child, but lied to me telling me that he could not be by my side because he was currently at work. I was devastated, and crushed behind him not being there with me. Luckly his mom showed her face, and stayed with me for a little while.
After learning of his betrayal I kept wondering why I stayed with him, I really did not know that loneliness that I was feeling on the inside of my heart until I felt myself go into a deep state of depression after realizing that I was not carrying a child inside of my womb anymore. This destroyed my heart into little pieces of hatred towards him. He never showed any signs of sorrow about loosing our child. All he did was drink his pain away, and when I asked him how he was feeling the only statement he mas was men deal with things differently that women do.