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    Broken Identity ( Suicide Awareness Month)

    Broken Identity ( Suicide Awareness Month)

    Back in February 2009 i took over 60 + pills to end my life, and i was not depressed nor delusional about the choice to end my life. I had gone through a lot of horrific things in my child hood, and by the age of 15 I had already been brutally raped 3 times once when I was 11 years old, and again by 2 men by the age of 15 years old.

    So you can probably understand why i did not want to live in this world where I felt alone, and out of alignt with what I was told to be in this world, and this was feeling pained by the faults of what these men had place on me with the sexual intent of their desires. I was bound, broken, and betrayed. i had no use for love, and it turned me into a very hatful person I did not smile, I did not love, and I most certainly did not address my issues of shame.

    I was made to believe that it was all my fault, and that I was useless to the world, and in that mind set i consider just to end everything. I was not worried of where my soul would rest for eternity. I was not concerned about displeasing God, and I was not worried about breaking anyone heart because many people had already borke my heart.

    I felt like my purpose in God would never be because I had already been broken to the point of no repair, and i just wanted the suffering of my heart to fade way, and stop beating. The moment I woke up in the hopsital after inflecting self harm of swallowing 60+ pills i thought in the back of my mind how I’d could not believe that i made it back, and how i wanted to successfully do it next time without waking back up. But in my despair god was up to something, and I did not lke it. He was repairing my heart, my mind, and my spirit back to him.

    As i popped the pill bottle opened I felt a sense of relase as I swalled those first couple of pills, and as I finished the process with water all I remember is darkness around me, and the lights to my soul were finally cut off until hours lakter i woke up in the hopital with all these medical professionals at my bed side pumping my stomach, and feeling me throught a tube liquid charcoal. View the video below to see my full story!

    info@mendthevow.com

    Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a Woman unapologetically as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken life with God's help by sharing my life #UnMended while  Baring the deepest parts of myself has been very hard, but is so worth it in the end to see the woman I'll become. So Cheers to healing, and to celebrating my freedon as a woman, in love, in life, and in faith. May you also grow from what I've grown from. Xo Jereè

    Mending the vow isn’t an easy task. It’s pressure, it’s finding the grit to find the grace in each area of your life to forgive, to heal, and to grow daily.

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