Tonight as i sit, and think of you I am reminded of all the pain that comes along with knowing you. Everything that memics something beautiful can never be as beautiful as the love that is still lingering in my heart for you. But how long will it be there? I never thought these thoughts would ever surface in my mind, and I never assumed that you would be gone this long.
The day I pushed you out the door i realized you were gone months before you physically left our home. Your were out living a life you desiredd while i was at home praying, fasting, and crying out to God to help me reach you. There were times where i couldn’t get out of bed, because you were in it with me. I also remember days upon days where I could eat because I was so focused on you that I literally got sicl to the pit of my stomach because I missed us so much.
I know now how careless I was with loving you too much, and not being in touch with myself. i did everything to please you, and yuo took it for granted. you never showed any appreciation for the things that i did for you, and I can say that i did the same. I am at fault for being a wife that did not show you my emotions, and I can not say anything woud have changed on my end if we both did not take out the time to say we could not do this anymore.
The demonstration of my heart for you has taken a back seat, and currently I have to figure out what God is truly saying about this marriage. do I miss you because you are all I know, and or is this the end? I feel so unfree, and I can not continue to base this marriage just on the fact that it is meant for my life. You have shown me love in the past, but what you are showing me as of late is nothing at all. And what I am learning more, and more each day is I need to free myself of you for any chance of myself to be happy in the future with you or someone else.
My prayer right now is that God will give me strength to stay steadfast in Hm, nd to see the true angle of where this marriage is going. i kow clarity in this moment for me is very important. a heart without focus is a heart lost in the shuffle, and I do not want to be this woman anymore.
Help me please!
I no longer know what to do, and I am afraid that your will for my marriage is not as near as i think it is, but i know that I remember what it feels like to love my husband. I know now that nothing is promised, and that I have to appreciate this time that I have to know as a woman.
I aksed that you place a spiritual connection back in my marriage between my husband, and myself. I ask that as we both start our days out that we begin to build prayer back into our union in our marriage. I know that we are worlds apart but yet we are both cities away from one another.
Please guide us back to each other if this is your divine will for us. I ask that you close each door that will bring hindrance from us moving forward together. Allow your grace to lead us in all that we do, and allow you mercy to teach us of where we have been, and where we are headed.
I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.
Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a Woman unapologetically as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken life with God’s help by sharing my life #UnMended while Baring the deepest parts of myself has been very hard, but is so worth it in the end to see the woman I’ll become. So Cheers to healing, and to celebrating my freedon as a woman, in love, in life, and in faith. May you also grow from what I’ve grown from. Xo Jereè