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When God Takes You Back On An Unexpected U-turn

When God Takes You Back On An Unexpected U-turn

Good morning wives,

This morning eventry is going to be on standing in prayer for your husband despite what your current situation looks like. There is something that God is teaching me as I am praying, and waiting on Him to reconcile my marriage.

The prayers that I’ve prayed a long time ago was impactful to myself, but were there the prayers that were going to touch the thorn of God effectively? God had to sit me down, and let me know that I needed to stip praying for my marriage, and begin to pray for my husbandk to be saved, satisfied, and filled with the Holy Ghost. This is the principle of restoration to my husband being made whole in God.

 

After I have realized that I can not run away from what God is doing in my marriage I am learning how to just walk in ktotal obedience when it comes to being in full alignment with what God is speaking concerning everything in my marriage. There is no side curb that i am going to fall into while God is renewing the strength of my marriage instead I am going to be in the set posture before God doing as He has instructed me to do.

In this season I have to solely place everything in the hands of God so that when this structure is beoing done I know that it was not the work of my own hand but the Hands of God that has brought everything fully together in my marriage. See i was not always this eager to be so ready in this way of what God was doing in my marriage. I was on another road of wanting to be free from it. After everything that had went on in my marriage I washed my hands, and was ready to move on with someone else. Yes wives i was in a whole extra material affair with this guy. I was ready to live my life with him, and ready to be his wife.

 

I felt like this was the right move for my life, and that I was ready to be someone else’s Mrs. but the lie was bigger than the truth. I was not over my husband, and I never healedk from the things that we took each other through. I was just ready to slap the biggest smile on my face, and be happy. This was the worst choice that I could have made because it was the start of something that I would never be ready for.

Have you ever seen yourself go from yes Lord to Father help me get out of the mess that I know I placed myself in? I was in a state of pure depression after hooking up with this man. For eight months i was going up, and down a lustful ,slide. I was depressed felt like I could not live without him, and God was whooping my butt for not being ov=bedient when he was telling me to leave this situation entirely alone.

 

My rebellion has cost me a lot. After a series of events  of finding out this not who I want to be with I finally got feed up to the point that I was tired of trying to fit someone in my life that did not belong there. On December 29, 2019 I left got all of my things, and parked my car, and climb in the back seat, and fell asleep. as the morning approached i clearly heard God say get on the free way.

And without hesistation I went to get gas, and I was on the freeway headed to Lancaster. see God knew I was not going to be strong enough to stay away fro this guy, and get my life together all at the same time because my flesh was weak, and if he would call I would go jump directly on him without question. So as of now I have been in this state of a wilderness season getting to know God for real, and trusting Him to lead, and guide me in where he has purposed my life to travel.

 

This journey back into the fold of my marriage has not been as hard as I thought it would be, and although as of right now me, and my husband have no form of communication I know that God will change this. I am not reaching out with my words but i am touching heaven with my prayers. Now I am not against communicating with my husband but I am using wisdom this time around. When God leads me to reach out to him I will. I have to remember that things take time, and that God is runnng the show not me.

so today’s prayer focus s to pray for your husband relationship with God, and if your husband iis not saved pray for God to save him.

 

Let’s pray!

Dear God,

I stand in the seat of prayer concerning every marriage that is currently going through the hardest challenges of their marriage. i ask that you help us to have faith in what we can not see before us in our husbands, and to show us how to pray for the things that they spiriutually hve need of. Father you know the things that is before us trying to hinder us from being obedient to you. I ask that you allow no weapon to come up against us, and that you will lead us deeper into you as we prepare our hearts for the reconciliation of our marriages. I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

 

Dear Hubby I Do Not Want You Anymore

Dear Hubby I Do Not Want You Anymore

Sunday night changed me about everything that I was feeling concerniing wanting a marriage that I thought could be revived from the state that it was in. Jereè – Founder Of Mend The Vow 

i never thought this call would come at a time when I was praying, hoping, and even crying about everything from the last 15 months of this separation period. My phone rang, and it was him on the other line saying that I was on his mind lately, and he wanted to talk to me. I had a slight smile on my face, and then he disapeared from the conversation, and someone else picked up the phone it was one of his cousins stating that I needed to hold on really quick because my husband was buying something out of the store.

 

His voice came back to my ears, and it was like something that I needed to hear but was not really hearing because he was not saying anythng but ramblings, because he was drunk on some wifey I miss you, and I guess at some point he forgot that I was on the phone, because the conversation went from me on his mind to him discussing with the people that were with him of how many women he was maxing out, and the current woman he was living with.

 

i did not say one word as this conversation was taking place I just sat on the phone taking everything in, and minutes later he came back to the phone, and said somethings with his last words being i will never call you again. The phone hung up, and I was more confused that I was before. Why did this happen? i did not understand the reason for this phone call or even why he thought I would care of how his sexual encounters were going.

 

This had me deep in my feelings, and it took me to a place where I was an emotional wreck, and I do not ever want to be back in that place again with him. So after I tried to collect my thoughts, and pull myself together here comes my husband with the disrespectful text cursing, and calling me out of my name. During the phone call he mentioned that no one could ever take his place in my life.

i do not know if that is one of his fears of the door closing on him in my life or what mindset he was on but i am not an option of any one’s second choice. I was, and am still his wife yet now only on paperwork, because i refuse to give sound, breath, or love again to someone that does not see the value in which I give to this union of marriage that we made together.

 

I never thought that in me praying to God for another chance at my marriage that this would happen. I shut him down, and I too said somethings in the text that was not so good because I was hurt by the things I heard, and by the things he said to me in the text. It does not excuse the disrespect that I showed him. I know that there is something to be learned in this lesson of what I am currently facing within myself, and within this marriage. I simply know now that it is over done without a pulse.

 

my heart does not feel right about letting go, but in time I will be okay with this choice because i know that this is not something that is good for my life, and I know that I was the one that was holding on to this marriage when he was not, and now that I see where he really is at within himself concerning life, and what he cares about I can finally release him, and go on with my life.

 

I choose to be without you ( husband), and I choose to still pray for your soul, but. what I choose today may it speak louder than the cries of my heart that I poured out into this marriage. I wish you nothing but the goodness of God. May He redeem you from the snares of the enemy, and I pray these things for myself as well.

What I am seeing in my life is a pattern of setbacks taking back to places where i feel trapped, and where I know where dysfunctional people such as myself, and the people that has been drawn into my life. I know that I can not keep going through the cycles of pain that continues to hurt me; so I know that this area, chapter in my life with this marriage I turn it loose, and give you to God, and once again I release you from my heart, from my mind, and from my memory of pain.

I want to begin to heal from this area of pain, and I want to encourage every spouse out  there that is going through any similar things in which I have discussed within this post I pray that you will allow them to see it, and call it out, and heal totally from it. God I know that I am not in a place that pleases you, but I ask that you help me see what you see in me, and that I will gain your strength to walk away from what is not for me.

Dear God

Allow my heart to be fully opened to you even when sin is involved. I know that outside of your will for my life I am nothing, and I come to know that I will fall each time that I am out of alignment with you. Please show me myself the ugly parts that makes me hide from you all together. I want to be free, and I want women to know that they do not have to run to a man to feel comfort, loved, and or whole. Having you is enough, and a Godly man is just an added bonus to the live of your daughter. I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

 

Dear Hubby Let’s Get Back Together

Dear Hubby Let’s Get Back Together

Here I go again God!

What is it about  Mr. Black that I can not shake? I keep telling myself that i’m over this marriage, and that I never want to be back with him again after he did his dirt, but come to find out I have some dirt that I tossed into this bed of adultery. But this does not make us even or right about what we both have done.

The consequences behind the shame that broke my heart was the mere fact that my husband, and I seen each other with different people, and the look he gave me was a look to die for. His look made me want to just stoop to the bottom of my chair, and never to be seen by him ever again.

 

But that feeling faded, and the rebound of mly heart was on the line again, but not for the man that i was with , but for my husband Seretse. I would see your face everywhere, And knowing that I was out here laying wild with anther person while you were moving on with your life. This is not how I wanted to wait for you while God was working on our marriage. I really wanted to be pure when you came back home.

I eally wanted t remain in a place of solitude before God, and away from everyone else just so I would not have any temptation for anyone else well but you. I know this is a far stretch o road to ask, but God I want my husband back, and i refuse to be another mrs. somebody. I want to remain Mrs. Black! You joined this untion together god, and i can not speak for my husband, and I won’t ever attempt to.

 

All I know is how I feel, and I do know that eveyone has free will, and with that being said I pray father if there is even the slightest chance of Our marriage being reconciled please grant me us a clean start, and for Mr. Black, and i to be healed, and whole in you before you join us back together.

Dear God,

I am far from a perfect wife, and i know that I have violated the vows in my marriage, and I know that i have loosened Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

i know that there is a lot of healing that needs to take part in getting this marriage back on track, and I know that I do not run this show i am willing to do whatever it takes in you in order for your will to be completely done in working on my marriage. I prayer enterally that you will guide me in all of my way, and that where you send me i will not hesitate to go. I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen

 

 

Is This Your Move Or God’s Move?

Is This Your Move Or God’s Move?

Nothing is as easy as it seems before you have to walk through a door that your not sure God told you to close.Jereè – Founder Of Mend The Vow

After everything that has happen between me, and my soon to be ex-husband i have been feeling some type of way about turning in the final judgement papers. Why? because things will finally be offically over between him, and myself on paper. I mean I already accepted the fact that the marriage is dead as a door nob I know this is a cold way of feeling about someone that I have loved so deeply for such a long time.

In the past few weeks I have been feeling like I do not know what to so when it comes to this marriage. I know that two hearts must be in place in order for things to move forward in mending the vows that we have took before God, but there is a deepness in my heart that is often saying do not give up. I  know that I am more than his wife on paper I am still his wife in the eyes of God no matter where he is currently. But what I am unsure of is if I want to fight or just stay where I am at away from him, away from the countless nights that I had to sleep without him crying my eyes out day in, and day out because of what our marriage had become.

There was always something to fix, and something to heal, and someone to give our time to other than our marriage, and I highly disliked ptting my marriage on the back end of thngs. I know it sound selfish, but we always ended up helping everyone, but our own marriage. I believe more time together would have helped heal things within my marriage. Now all I have is the what ifs, and the could haves playing around in my head.

There is nothing more terrifying that seeing you husband literally walk through the door to tell you that he wants out of the marriage but he still wants you in his life. What compromised us? Was it me entirely? Or was it him? Or was it the both of us not seeing the harm, hurt, fears of our own lives before we got together?

This is a haunting thing that sometimes creeps up on me, and puts itself on repeat. I try not to cry in front of people; so I sometimes slip away in the bathroom, and cry my eyes out, and after a while I return to the room like nothing never happened. These series of emotions often filter with deep thoughts of him, and I. what was between us is not anymore. This was not suppose to be how we ended. August 1,2019 would been our 7th wedding anniversary, and on that day I did nothing. I did not post on social media, I did not go outside I just thought of us.

I am always thinking where do I go from here? Do I just pack my heart off, and run wild with it locked under a key, and never let anyone awaken it again? I have these thought often more that I want to, and it scars me to allow anyone close to me again because I am always reminded of how my husband vacated my life without any prior notification. Things were so cold in that house that we shared together, so this is why there is no returning to this marriage, but i always second guess whether I made the correct decision. If I would’ve waited on God to give me further instruction just maybe things would have turned out differently for my marriage.

I Won’t Wait On You Forever

I Won’t Wait On You Forever

Tonight as i sit, and think of you I am reminded of all the pain that comes along with knowing you. Everything that memics something beautiful can never be as beautiful as the love that is still lingering in my heart for you. But how long will it be there? I never thought these thoughts would ever surface in my mind, and I never assumed that you would be gone this long.

The day I pushed you out the door i realized you were gone months before you physically left our home. Your were out living a life you desiredd while i was at home praying, fasting, and crying out to God to help me reach you. There were times where i couldn’t get out of bed, because you were in it with me. I also remember days upon days where I could eat because I was so focused on you that I literally got sicl to the pit of my stomach because I missed us so much.

 

I know now how careless I was with loving you too much, and not being in touch with myself. i did everything to please you, and yuo took it for granted. you never showed any appreciation for the things that i did for you, and I can say that i did the same. I am at fault for being a wife that did not show you my emotions, and I can not say anything woud have changed on my end if we both did not take out the time to say we could not do this anymore.

 

The demonstration of my heart for you has taken a back seat, and currently I have to figure out what God is truly saying about this marriage. do I miss you because you are all I know, and or is this the end? I feel so unfree, and I can not continue to base this marriage just on the fact that it is meant for my life. You have shown me love in the past, but what you are showing me as of late is nothing at all. And what I am learning more, and more each day is I need to free myself of you for any chance of myself to be happy in the future with you or someone else.

My prayer right now is that God will give me strength to stay steadfast in Hm, nd to see the true angle of where this marriage is going. i kow clarity in this moment for me is very important. a heart without focus is a heart lost in the shuffle, and I do not want to be this woman anymore.

Dear God,

Help me please!

I no longer know what to do, and I am afraid that your will for my marriage is not as near as i think it is, but i know that I remember what it feels like to love my husband. I know now that nothing is promised, and that I have to appreciate this time that I have to know as a woman.

I aksed that you place a spiritual connection back in my marriage between my husband, and myself. I ask that as we both start our days out that we begin to build prayer back into our union in our marriage. I know that we are worlds apart but yet we are both cities away from one another.

Please guide us back to each other if this is your divine will for us. I ask that you close each door that will bring hindrance from us moving forward together. Allow your grace to lead us in all that we do, and allow you mercy to teach us of where we have been, and where we are headed.

I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

No Matter What Comes I’m Standing In The Gap For My Husband

No Matter What Comes I’m Standing In The Gap For My Husband

Yesterday was the first day in a long while i cried because I had to admit to not only to myself but say it out loud to God that I miss my husband. 

There has been times in this season where I have had melt down after melt down behnd my husband walking out on me for the second time in our marriage. He just decided he had enough of being married, and I was not receiving what he was saying because I knew this was not in God’s plan for us.

 

There is a longing to listen to the sound of what is pleasing to God that He desires for me to do for Him in my life, and with the things that he commands me to be obedient to. My marriage is not just for me, but God has made it to be in a fulfillment of His purpose, and there were something that has taken place, and there is many things that i need to forgive of my husband. 

Standing in the gap doesn ot mean that the tears will not fall, and that i will not collapse in the arms of Jesus. I simply am so emotionally tired of these tears, and so drained from holdoing them back I literally just had a crying party the different times within the last hour but I give all glory to God who holds the promises of my marriage in His hands.

 

What  God requires of me is not based on the conditions of how I feel in the natural, but God is leading me by His spirit in all things, and He will not allow me to just slip in , and out of disobedience in anything. God is calling for a resolve in my marriage, and He is drawing my husband by His spirit, and while He is doing the drawing I shall stand in awe of His mighty works that he will work through my marriage.

My prayer of action

Dear God,

i am standing firm to your promises that you have granted my marriage. father show me how to remain firm in my stance in you. Allow me to remain rooted , and grounded in your holy will, and no matter what it looks like never let me crumble in opposition in what I am facing in this season. I love you for taking me through these trails to build me up in the things that you are anointing my marriage to minister to the hearts of other marriages. It is in your name i do pray these things, and ask that the blood of Jesus flows through this prayer. I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

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