Archive For The “A Wife’s Prayer” Category

Is This Your Move Or God’s Move?

Is This Your Move Or God’s Move?

Nothing is as easy as it seems before you have to walk through a door that your not sure God told you to close.Jereè – Founder Of Mend The Vow

After everything that has happen between me, and my soon to be ex-husband i have been feeling some type of way about turning in the final judgement papers. Why? because things will finally be offically over between him, and myself on paper. I mean I already accepted the fact that the marriage is dead as a door nob I know this is a cold way of feeling about someone that I have loved so deeply for such a long time.

In the past few weeks I have been feeling like I do not know what to so when it comes to this marriage. I know that two hearts must be in place in order for things to move forward in mending the vows that we have took before God, but there is a deepness in my heart that is often saying do not give up. I  know that I am more than his wife on paper I am still his wife in the eyes of God no matter where he is currently. But what I am unsure of is if I want to fight or just stay where I am at away from him, away from the countless nights that I had to sleep without him crying my eyes out day in, and day out because of what our marriage had become.

There was always something to fix, and something to heal, and someone to give our time to other than our marriage, and I highly disliked ptting my marriage on the back end of thngs. I know it sound selfish, but we always ended up helping everyone, but our own marriage. I believe more time together would have helped heal things within my marriage. Now all I have is the what ifs, and the could haves playing around in my head.

There is nothing more terrifying that seeing you husband literally walk through the door to tell you that he wants out of the marriage but he still wants you in his life. What compromised us? Was it me entirely? Or was it him? Or was it the both of us not seeing the harm, hurt, fears of our own lives before we got together?

This is a haunting thing that sometimes creeps up on me, and puts itself on repeat. I try not to cry in front of people; so I sometimes slip away in the bathroom, and cry my eyes out, and after a while I return to the room like nothing never happened. These series of emotions often filter with deep thoughts of him, and I. what was between us is not anymore. This was not suppose to be how we ended. August 1,2019 would been our 7th wedding anniversary, and on that day I did nothing. I did not post on social media, I did not go outside I just thought of us.

I am always thinking where do I go from here? Do I just pack my heart off, and run wild with it locked under a key, and never let anyone awaken it again? I have these thought often more that I want to, and it scars me to allow anyone close to me again because I am always reminded of how my husband vacated my life without any prior notification. Things were so cold in that house that we shared together, so this is why there is no returning to this marriage, but i always second guess whether I made the correct decision. If I would’ve waited on God to give me further instruction just maybe things would have turned out differently for my marriage.

I Won’t Wait On You Forever

I Won’t Wait On You Forever

Tonight as i sit, and think of you I am reminded of all the pain that comes along with knowing you. Everything that memics something beautiful can never be as beautiful as the love that is still lingering in my heart for you. But how long will it be there? I never thought these thoughts would ever surface in my mind, and I never assumed that you would be gone this long.

The day I pushed you out the door i realized you were gone months before you physically left our home. Your were out living a life you desiredd while i was at home praying, fasting, and crying out to God to help me reach you. There were times where i couldn’t get out of bed, because you were in it with me. I also remember days upon days where I could eat because I was so focused on you that I literally got sicl to the pit of my stomach because I missed us so much.

 

I know now how careless I was with loving you too much, and not being in touch with myself. i did everything to please you, and yuo took it for granted. you never showed any appreciation for the things that i did for you, and I can say that i did the same. I am at fault for being a wife that did not show you my emotions, and I can not say anything woud have changed on my end if we both did not take out the time to say we could not do this anymore.

 

The demonstration of my heart for you has taken a back seat, and currently I have to figure out what God is truly saying about this marriage. do I miss you because you are all I know, and or is this the end? I feel so unfree, and I can not continue to base this marriage just on the fact that it is meant for my life. You have shown me love in the past, but what you are showing me as of late is nothing at all. And what I am learning more, and more each day is I need to free myself of you for any chance of myself to be happy in the future with you or someone else.

My prayer right now is that God will give me strength to stay steadfast in Hm, nd to see the true angle of where this marriage is going. i kow clarity in this moment for me is very important. a heart without focus is a heart lost in the shuffle, and I do not want to be this woman anymore.

Dear God,

Help me please!

I no longer know what to do, and I am afraid that your will for my marriage is not as near as i think it is, but i know that I remember what it feels like to love my husband. I know now that nothing is promised, and that I have to appreciate this time that I have to know as a woman.

I aksed that you place a spiritual connection back in my marriage between my husband, and myself. I ask that as we both start our days out that we begin to build prayer back into our union in our marriage. I know that we are worlds apart but yet we are both cities away from one another.

Please guide us back to each other if this is your divine will for us. I ask that you close each door that will bring hindrance from us moving forward together. Allow your grace to lead us in all that we do, and allow you mercy to teach us of where we have been, and where we are headed.

I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

No Matter What Comes I’m Standing In The Gap For My Husband

No Matter What Comes I’m Standing In The Gap For My Husband

Yesterday was the first day in a long while i cried because I had to admit to not only to myself but say it out loud to God that I miss my husband. 

There has been times in this season where I have had melt down after melt down behnd my husband walking out on me for the second time in our marriage. He just decided he had enough of being married, and I was not receiving what he was saying because I knew this was not in God’s plan for us.

 

There is a longing to listen to the sound of what is pleasing to God that He desires for me to do for Him in my life, and with the things that he commands me to be obedient to. My marriage is not just for me, but God has made it to be in a fulfillment of His purpose, and there were something that has taken place, and there is many things that i need to forgive of my husband. 

Standing in the gap doesn ot mean that the tears will not fall, and that i will not collapse in the arms of Jesus. I simply am so emotionally tired of these tears, and so drained from holdoing them back I literally just had a crying party the different times within the last hour but I give all glory to God who holds the promises of my marriage in His hands.

 

What  God requires of me is not based on the conditions of how I feel in the natural, but God is leading me by His spirit in all things, and He will not allow me to just slip in , and out of disobedience in anything. God is calling for a resolve in my marriage, and He is drawing my husband by His spirit, and while He is doing the drawing I shall stand in awe of His mighty works that he will work through my marriage.

My prayer of action

Dear God,

i am standing firm to your promises that you have granted my marriage. father show me how to remain firm in my stance in you. Allow me to remain rooted , and grounded in your holy will, and no matter what it looks like never let me crumble in opposition in what I am facing in this season. I love you for taking me through these trails to build me up in the things that you are anointing my marriage to minister to the hearts of other marriages. It is in your name i do pray these things, and ask that the blood of Jesus flows through this prayer. I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

Healing While Pruning The Scars On The Heart

Healing While Pruning The Scars On The Heart

[bctt tweet=”I have a very hard time with moving forward when things in my marriage seem to be out of whack; but God is always about when is is calling for correction, and even in reconciliation. ” username=”@mendthevow”]

There is a silent cry that lingers in my heart that weeps for the heart of my husband but there is a God that knows that heart of Man, and He is there when I fall apart. Sometimes I cry a lot because I often think that God is always taken my husband’s side. I know that thinking this way will not get me anywhere; so I started using the advice that was given to me by one of my good friends Madonna she simply said when you feel defeated about something just go into a praise, and thank God like He’s already done it for you.

I did not want to hear any of this because I was already in my feeling, and I just wanted to scream; but let me tell you how good God is! As I was at home later on in the day after getting this advice from Madonna I was sitting on my bed feeling really down, and before I knew it I started transitioning how I was feeling into a thankful praise unto God. I really felt better and I really knew that God just want me to praise Him in all that I am facing right now in my marriage.

Learning to move forward is not easy when it seems like I am the only one standing for my marriage, and even in these times I can still hear God redirecting my feet back into His appointed direction for me to walk on. My feet has been planted once again where God is leading them to stay on, and I have to be, and remain obedient to Him.

My prayer tonight is simply allow the cries of my heart to tap into a radical worship that leads to a radical praise in warfare for the battle cry of my marriage. I pray these things in Jesus name amen.

 

 

Understanding Your Husband

Understanding Your Husband

What is understand? 

Understanding is a form of love which love is an action based on the good encouters of your heart towards someone, and it should be the way in the connections with your husband. But what happens when you, and your husband are on the outs will you still be there to understand what he needs from you as his wife?

Nothing is more concrete in marriage as an understanding heart of a wife for her husband, and this is needed in this present season for wives to be more understanding no matter what yur marriage is facing currently it is time to have a ear to listen, and a heart to understand your husband more than ever.

God is a God of understanding, and if He is giving us His undevived understanding than it is within us as wives to give our husband’s understanding as God gives unto us.

The following scriptures speaks to the heart about understanding from God’s perspective. 

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:”

There are a lot of things to consider 

  1. You have to look at things from an understanding heart, and not from a place of judgement.
  2. You have to be willing to go the extra mile even when you are feeling some type of way towards your husband.
  3. You have to take how you are feeling to God, and God alone in prayer concerning your husband.
  4. Do not let the weight of what you are feeling over shadow what God has instructed you to do concerning your husband.

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-11‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 

Listen to the recording of todday’s prayer With Laniece Joseph Click Here

Opening The Door Way Too Your Husnad’s Heart

Opening The Door Way Too Your Husnad’s Heart

What I have learned over the years as a wife is to learnn how to be kind in areas where i want to disturb my husbands peace in the flesh because of an agrument or some petty nature of the female mind that needs to reign in the victory where God is not no where being glorified.

This is how I use to think, and I use to say mean things that in over a course of time ruined that heart of my husband I tore down his manHood, and disrespected him to no end. I was a horrible person at the time, and I knew that I needed healing but I did not care to give the time to it in order for my breakthrough to come.

I would soak in the things that i let consume my heart, and without warning I would spill it over into the heart of my husband, and this created a huge gap in our marriage for a lng period of time, and it destroyed me as a wife for a long period of time I worked on trying to repair the heart of my husband’s heart, but it was closed from all the years of damaged that I had caused it, and It would not open for me,

i had to really do someone soul searching ,and really get before God to ask Him to heal me, and lead my husbad’s eart back to a repaired heart, and to be healed from all the things that i had poured into it. see the thing about healing is you have to admit the ugly thinngs in marriage is I had to admit the role that i played without blaiming my husband for my actions.

[bctt tweet=”The thoughts that I think towards my husband are pure, and not of deceit. I will use my words to build him up, and not to tear him down. i speak Love, and truth towards him for all the days of my life. I vow to rebuild trust, love, communication, and friendship with our marriage. Titus 2:1″ username=”@mendthevow”]

If you are currently facing this error in your marriage , and you are doing things that are causing your husband’s heart to turn from you. It’s time that you take the appropriate steps in fall on your knees, and start praying to God to first forgive you of the things that you have done to bring discord to your marriage, and also hurt to your husband’s heart. And this will be the time where you have to get out of God’s way in order for Him to do what you can not do, and this is to speak directly to the heart of your husband.

Dear God,

I thank you for a will to come to a heart of repentence for the things that I know that caused my husbad’s heart to hurt. i pray that you will lead his heart to forgiveness towards me, and that you will begain to repair the trust, love, and friendship between my husband, and I. I ask that you allow peace to reign in our home, and in our hearts. Father I pray that there will not be any unresolved residue lingering around tring to align itself back within our marriage.I pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen!

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