Tonight it all went down in prayer, and in that moment everyhing seemed to fall of my shoulders. I realized that I was not fully trusting God in my current situations, and that I was allowing myself to be led by my own will, and I never want to go back to that place ever again.
I feel as though I was stopping the growth in this journey that I am in, and I know that I had to do something in order to break out of it but I did not know how. A few nights ago as I was in a bad relationship, and I wanted out, and the only thing I did was walk away tired, and unsure if this was going to be the last time I was going to see this man that I waks in love or in lust with.
I knew that night that i had to make a tough decision, and while I was thinking on everything I choose to not go back for a lot of reasons.
- He was not my husband.
- He was a huge distraction in my walk with God.
- He was controlling.
- He was not feeding my purpose.
I had to really get a hold to myself, and really pull it together. I knew that nohing was going to change unless I changed the situation that I was in. So with no where to go other than another friends house I choose to gather my belongings, and packed them away in my car, and I drove off.
I ended up drivng to my old apartment complex, and I parked my car. I hopped in the back seat, and I slept. As the morning was approaching I heard God’s voice so clear telling me to jump on the freeway, and I did not question it at all. So as I went to the gas station to get gas I drove two hours to see my “bestie”, and in that moment I knew God was meeting me where He knew I needed distance, and space from that toxic person.
Here’s the thing about feeding your flesh
- The more you give into the feeling the more it drwas you away from God.
- The more you stop seeking God in those dark places the more you stay stuck.
- The more you choose to deny your spirit the more your fleshy desire begin to become alive.
The struggle not to text, call or video chat has become hard but easy as the time goes by because I choose to be obedient to God instead of giving into my own desires. there is nothing of importance that is going to satisfy my spirit other than God. It has taken everything in me to come to this place of surrender, and I have to really push forward to see this thing through because i do not want to be stuck in this same place of screaming out my emotions to God, and not being heard because of my hard way of doing things in my life.
There is a place in God that my heart longs to be in Him again a resting place where I do not have to worry about who’s for me or who’s against me. I know that I am His, and He is mine. I will. no longer fight against what He is restoring in my life for His glorious purpose for the Kingdom. I won’t be satisified until He uses ever ounce of my life for His divine purpose for my life.
When I pray I want to sincerely touch God’s heart, and especially when I pray on the behalf of other people that I knojw that I love, nd also the ones that I do not even know as of yet.
Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a Woman unapologetically as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken life with God’s help by sharing my life #UnMended while Baring the deepest parts of myself has been very hard, but is so worth it in the end to see the woman I’ll become. So Cheers to healing, and to celebrating my freedon as a woman, in love, in life, and in faith. May you also grow from what I’ve grown from. Xo Jereè