Discovering Somethings In My Life, And Someone New
I was going through my drafts, and came across this unpublished post written on Jul 4, 2019 at 04:19
I am just going to hit the publish button and release this in hopes to help someone that may need to hear what I went through in that time in my life.
Life has been really challenging lately especially when it comes to updating myslf on my own life in fear that i’d have to pay close attention to my emotions, and what has been going on around me in my own life.
Sometimes I close myself off from the entire world, and just break down, and cry for a minute. It’s been really difficult to talk about the pain behind the divorce. The mishaps of it all, and what is clear to me, and what remains. I think it has come to the point in my own life where I am tired of running from my own insecurities. I feel like there is no better time than now to expose my own self.
So there is no time like the present. I am facing a.lot of challenges in my personal life, and at a glance it might help to tell you how I got to this point in my life.
- I fought for so long in prayer to cover my soon-to-be ex-husband that I lost sight of my own freedom to chose what was best for me, and I regret most of it.
- Because he was not only through with this marriage but he also showed me that he was not interested in proving it in his actions to leave me for dead.
- Because each time I picked up the telephone to express any ounce of love he’d write me off by describing where we aren’t in this marriage.
- Because he never took any fault of his own until the end where it was entirely way too late for me to care.
2. The choice for me to process the thoughts to walk away from this marriage was not easy like I thought it would be.
3. I shed many tears even in the fight to pray when he, and I lived apart. I desperately wanted things to reconcile in my marriage.
4. I felt disrespected and unloved through this process by my soon-to-be ex-husband.
I never sorted these things out until I begin the divorce procedures. I was taken aback to realize all the harm and hurt that was weighing in the back of my emotions. I was not sure how I would survive this series of events, but somehow I am making it day by day by not allowing myself to shut down all the way. I try my best to element my story across all boards so that in my transparency through sharing my story along the way another woman can heal, and also find growth in their life while healing.
Cheers to healing. XO Jereè