Playing With Fire ( Love notes on my heart.)
Nights like tonight I am thankful to be single for the most part I don’t have to worry about if he’s creeping out with the next female, and or if one day he’ll decide that I am no longer his cup of tea. Letting go of that old thang is harder than most expect. It’s never easy ending a relationship especially when you’re still in love with this person. But you have to take care of your heart knowing why you chose to walk away, and why you deserve better.
I constantly think about the what if’s, and I have to bring myself back to a place of peace knowing that no matter how many times I took him back he would never become the man that I once knew. I often ask myself how can he consistently be on my mind while he and I are (1,784.2 mi) away from one another, and have not been in one another presence since February of this year?
Have you ever had moments where you pleaded with God to bless the mess that you were in because you thought that if you stuck around long enough that the man that was doing you so wrong would come to realize that you’re the blessing he’s been pushing to the side? I know that times like this can be so tempting to call up Mr. wrong just to hear his voice, and just to hear that pull on your heart… But I want to first encourage myself not to go there, and secondly to encourage you not to walk into temptation because it will only lead to greater heartache.
I’ve come to realize that the more I am being stretched the more my flesh tries to remind me how good the pleasure felt between myself and Mr. wrong this is the most annoying thing that I am experiencing right now. I have distanced myself, and the communication between him and me, and yet these love notes on my heart keep writing to him. I am currently learning that I’ve wasted enough space, and tears wondering when this seed of pain will be left from my heart. I also know that just because the break up happened the way that it did does not mean that the love will automatically fade away.
There are levels of falling out of love with someone, and there are phases that the heart goes through that you absolutely have no control over. Be encouraged if you are finding yourself longing to reconnect with Mr. wrong it’s a trap sis, and you know better than to walk back through a door that God is cautioning you to close, and yes I am also taking my own advice as tempting as it is to want to call I will not because I know that God’s grace is sufficient to see me through everything that I am facing in this time in my life.
Though your heart might be in a lot of pain right now i want to tell you that your broken piece will mend, and you will definitely smile again.