Posts Tagged “The Messy Family Breakthrough”

The Messy Family Breakthrough

The Messy Family Breakthrough

While some may find that the mothers and daughter relationship is like the best things since sliced bread, and that the closeness in raising a daughter will some how bring joy, light, and memories to fill you heart for a life time every mother and daughter relationship isn’t like this. – Jereè Black

What’s to be expected from a broken Mother / Daughter bond that fails?

if the relationship between a mother, and daughter is strained so much at time the scars, the memories from a broken childhood can come up if they are unhealed, and further more if the relationship between both mother, and daughter has not come into full bloom if can be very hard to create a sacred bond between the two.

If the daughter has been trying for years to get close to the mother, but the mother puts up a resistance, because she has unhealed wounds from her past that reaches back to her childhood than is is gong to take sometime form the emotional phase of the mother to reach down into herself to be able to hit a healing point.

If the disadvantages of unhealed wounds keep the bond of both the Mother and the Daughter apart this is not always a bad view of the relationship, because what can drown both Mother, and daughter together would be the daughter looking at her mothers life in the same eye sight of her own to discover the kind of woman she is.
To discover more from this point of view read this Article

Sometimes the relationship between a mother and daughter does not get the chance to develop at the earlier stages in life like most, but this is not a defeated with, and if the relationship is strained it can possibly still thrive if the work it put into action from both parties without resistance.

Here Are Some Questions To Consider!

1. Are you willing to put all of the junk on the table in order to allow the healing to begin?

2. Are you willing to be truthful even if it hurt to talk about it?

3. Are you willing not to over talk the person that has the floor?

4. Are you will to discover new adventures with each other?

5. Are the two of you will to make a. Pack to not allow anyone or anything hinder to process of the relationship between mother, and daughter?

Theinitial messiness of the breakthrough occurs with the tension is lowered, and the truth is revealed without judgement from the other party, and embracing the hurt that one has caused the other. This breakthrough can only happen if both mother and daughter are willing to give each other time to let out the venom of poison that has been engulfed in the spirit for so long.

5 Ways to Heal Mother-Daughter Relationships

1. When You Have a Disagreement, Don’t Try to Get Others On Your Team

Resolving issues has nothing to do with who agrees with you. You decide how you feel without outside validation. Find your voice and use it.

2. Make a Change

If you need to make changes in your relationship, do it, not because your mom tells you (she could be right!) or because someone else thinks you should or is pressuring you to change, but because your change will change the relationship in a positive way. Sometimes we create problems and need to examine our own behavior. It’s easier to blame mom.

3. Don’t Underestimate Your Mother’s Reaction When You Try to Make a Change

She may object to changes in the relationship. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong to pursue them. It just means that change may create temporary tension with a pull to go back to the old ways. Stay firm in your decision to react differently and the patterns between the two of you will change. We sometimes stay stuck in old unhealthy patterns because they are familiar. Breaking out of our old ways often creates tension.

4.Keep Your Visits with Mom Limited and Focused

Keep your visits with mom limited and focused if you feel the relationship is problematic. This helps you hold onto your sense of self. If you struggle with falling back into old unhealthy patterns, prepare ahead of time ways you can stay on message. For example, if your mom is alcoholic and begins to drink when you visit, tell her you will leave if she drinks. You prefer to have a sober visit. Then have a plan to leave and a place to go. Anticipate the usual problems and determine ahead of time how you will respond differently.

5. Write Out Your Thoughts in a Letter or Rehearse a Conversation

Write out your thoughts in a letter or rehearse a conversation using an empty chair so that you can put your thoughts together. Practice new ways to respond. Role-playing helps. It will help you anticipate how to respond to difficult topics and issues.

And Remember…

The mother-daughter bond is a powerful one worth putting effort in to making it the best you can. Don’t give up just because there is tension and problems. Keep working through the issues until you feel you can be with mom and not feel a need to constantly get her approval or validation.

Silence wrecked our marriage. Unhealed wombs divided us. Unkept vows separated us. Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken marriage with God’s help by sharing my life #UnMended. God inspired the name “Mend The Vow” which means repair (something that is broken or damaged)  Relationship with God and with our husbands. It is based on the Scripture in 2 Chronicles 24:12. My hope is to encourage other wives in the world who are, have been separated,and want to mend their marriage back together.

The Messy Family Breakthrough

The Messy Family Breakthrough

While some may find that the mothers and daughter relationship is like the best things since sliced bread, and that the closeness in raising a daughter will some how bring joy, light, and memories to fill you heart for a life time every mother and daughter relationship isn’t like this. – Jereè Black

What’s to be expected from a broken Mother / Daughter bond that fails?

  • if the relationship between a mother, and daughter is strained so much at time the scars, the memories from a broken childhood can come up if they are unhealed, and further more if the relationship between both mother, and daughter has not come into full bloom if can be very hard to create a sacred bond between the two.
  • If the daughter has been trying for years to get close to the mother, but the mother puts up a resistance, because she has unhealed wounds from her past that reaches back to her childhood than is is gong to take sometime form the emotional phase of the mother to reach down into herself to be able to hit a healing point.
  • If the disadvantages of unhealed wounds keep the bond of both the Mother and the Daughter apart this is not always a bad view of the relationship, because what can drown both Mother, and daughter together would be the daughter looking at her mothers life in the same eye sight of her own to discover the kind of woman she is.

To discover more from this point of view read this Article

Sometimes the relationship between a mother and daughter does not get the chance to develop at the earlier stages in life like most, but this is not a defeated with, and if the relationship is strained it can possibly still thrive if the work it put into action from both parties without resistance.

Here Are Some Questions To Consider!

1. Are you willing to put all of the junk on the table in order to allow the healing to begin?

2. Are you willing to be truthful even if it hurt to talk about it?

3. Are you willing not to over talk the person that has the floor?

4. Are you will to discover new adventures with each other?

5. Are the two of you will to make a. Pack to not allow anyone or anything hinder to process of the relationship between mother, and daughter?

 

Theinitial messiness of the breakthrough occurs with the tension is lowered, and the truth is revealed without judgement from the other party, and embracing the hurt that one has caused the other. This breakthrough can only happen if both mother and daughter are willing to give each other time to let out the venom of poison that has been engulfed in the spirit for so long.

 

5 Ways to Heal Mother-Daughter Relationships

1. When You Have a Disagreement, Don’t Try to Get Others On Your Team

Resolving issues has nothing to do with who agrees with you. You decide how you feel without outside validation. Find your voice and use it.

2. Make a Change

If you need to make changes in your relationship, do it, not because your mom tells you (she could be right!) or because someone else thinks you should or is pressuring you to change, but because your change will change the relationship in a positive way. Sometimes we create problems and need to examine our own behavior. It’s easier to blame mom.

3. Don’t Underestimate Your Mother’s Reaction When You Try to Make a Change

She may object to changes in the relationship. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong to pursue them. It just means that change may create temporary tension with a pull to go back to the old ways. Stay firm in your decision to react differently and the patterns between the two of you will change. We sometimes stay stuck in old unhealthy patterns because they are familiar. Breaking out of our old ways often creates tension.

4.Keep Your Visits with Mom Limited and Focused

Keep your visits with mom limited and focused if you feel the relationship is problematic. This helps you hold onto your sense of self. If you struggle with falling back into old unhealthy patterns, prepare ahead of time ways you can stay on message. For example, if your mom is alcoholic and begins to drink when you visit, tell her you will leave if she drinks. You prefer to have a sober visit. Then have a plan to leave and a place to go. Anticipate the usual problems and determine ahead of time how you will respond differently.

5. Write Out Your Thoughts in a Letter or Rehearse a Conversation

Write out your thoughts in a letter or rehearse a conversation using an empty chair so that you can put your thoughts together. Practice new ways to respond. Role-playing helps. It will help you anticipate how to respond to difficult topics and issues.

 

And Remember…

The mother-daughter bond is a powerful one worth putting effort in to making it the best you can. Don’t give up just because there is tension and problems. Keep working through the issues until you feel you can be with mom and not feel a need to constantly get her approval or validation.

 

 

 

 

 

Silence wrecked our marriage. Unhealed wombs divided us. Unkept vows separated us. Hello! My name is Jereè and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife as I start the process of mending the pieces of my broken marriage with God’s help by sharing my life #UnMended. God inspired the name “Mend The Vow” which means repair (something that is broken or damaged)  Relationship with God and with our husbands. It is based on the Scripture in 2 Chronicles 24:12. My hope is to encourage other wives in the world who are, have been separated,and want to mend their marriage back together.

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