What I Never Expected (Part 3)My eyes became more opened when I removed the natural side of things when it came to me looking deeper into the spirit to focus on what God has been piercing through my ears with His love concerning my Sister. Click To Tweet
The expectations that I’ve placed on my sister as a child was a pretty r selfish things to request now that I set back and think of things as a grown woman.
My sister started her family at a pretty young age, and I believe it was a way of escaping the house of toxicity that plagued us all daily.
I remember getting pretty lonely as a child when my sister was not around I would be so withdrawn from the rest of the family but as soon as she came to visit or stay for a while it seemed like everything else that I was going through did not matter because I felt safe with her.
When she had her first child I really was in shock to see this little person soaking in all the love, time, and motherly attention that I once received from my sister. I was so focused on not allowing this little one to come in on a full cutie pie ride in our family. LOL! Of course, I tried to do any, and everything to get rid of my niece. I did know exactly how because I was an 8-year-old child that just wanted the spotlight back on me.
Here’s what happened…
- I broke my niece crip so she would just go to her dad’s house or somewhere else so that I would not have to share the moments of laughter, and sweet hugs with her from my sissy.
- I thought that if I put her feet in the toilet that she would just go down there wherever there was.
- I sneezed on her to give her my cold
- I Purposely did not hold her or speak to her for the first month of her little life.
The lessons that I learned from doing all of those bad deeds was nothing worked because my niece was now an important little person in our family.
I ended up looking down in the crib and noticed that little face looking up at me smiling. “They replaced the said crib that I broke.”
She grew on me, and I resented my sister even more through the years because although I loved my little niece She was still dividing the time that I should have been spending with my sister this is what I thought as an 8-year-old.
As I grew from an 8-year-old young girl into a pre-teen life got harder, and so did the hatred that was being suppressed over the years in my heart towards my sister. I did not understand her reasoning for wanting to just leave just because she had a child. Nothing made sense to me, and at 12 years old I began to consume strong alcoholic beverages to calm down the war that was battling within me.
I needed my sis, and I did not understand I just did know why she was not there for me like she once was in my life. as I grew up I needed answers, and now it’s was time to talk face to face… #womantowoman
Join me next Monday, January 25, 2021, for the final post into this series of What I Never Expected